Moving on from defeat...

Well, January certainly turned out exactly the opposite of what I planned. I thought I had successfully gotten through the holiday season and I was home free. It’s easy to live healthy in January isn’t it? Well after you throw in a construction project, and horrible car accident, and a hand full of other stresses between work and home what do you get: a derailed lifestyle plan!! It makes me sad that I was derailed mostly because life can be stressful, and I wanted to make sure I did not deal with the stress via food. However once everything got out of control I used it as an excuse to eat comfort foods. Once I was off track for a week, I avoided the scale like the plague just knowing I had gained all my weight back.

I tried to restart a couple times during the month, but I failed every time. Lack of will power and lack of preparation defeated me.

Today is the first time I have stepped on the scale since early January. I was shocked by what I saw. I was exactly the same weight I was when I last checked. I was happy, even though I knew the scale was only telling a half truth. I may have been the same weight but I know I did gain some fat and lose some muscle. My body does not feel the same at all and my clothes are a little tighter. I am still more grateful than ever not to have to lose the same blasted pounds twice. I have done that too many times in my weight loss history.

I have my exercise and eating planned for the week just like I used to. I am back to logging my foods. I have my house stocked full of the good stuff and chucked any junk we had laying around. I banished the diet soda again. (I was so proud to have been off that crap for months, and then I blew it) At this point I will be elated to even lose one pound this week. After 3 weeks of bad behavior I know my body will rebel against weight loss. I am also sure I will go through detoxification again, which I hate! It’s the headaches that kill me the most. Advil here I come!

So, January started off pretty badly, but thankfully it is ending on a sweeter note.

Flipped upside down...

Isn't January the month when everyone pulls it together? Why did I fall apart...more soon.

Out of Control

Life is a little out of control right now, right after Christmas we started a little construction project at our home which turned into a nightmare. Then on Sunday night my husband was in a bad car accident. He will be okay, thank God, but it has left me a little out of control. My scale is lost in construction dust and my kitchen is not usable because everything from my family room and guest bathroom is in the kitchen. I have been making the wisest choices possible but stress has gotten the best of me a few times and my exercise schedule is toast. I should have a new vehicle for my husband and my insurance battles won by Friday. Construction is slated to be done on Sunday. I look forward to being completely back on track on Monday 1-12-08. Until then, I am doing my best. Happy New Year to you all!

Going with the flow

In my last entry I talked about things I was not doing that many experts tell you to do. Here are a few things they tell you that I feel are very valuable to me.

You have heard it before and you will hear it again, never skip breakfast, and for me it is something I must follow. I have not followed this rule in the past and I know I paid for it. I am just not that hungry in the morning so I often skipped breakfast to save calories. However I very rarely could stop myself from over eating later in the day. I am still not much of a breakfast person and am truly not that hungry when I wake up still, but I force myself to have something anyway, and it really helps! I am much more in control of what I eat later, and my blood sugar seems to stay stable.

With exercise I have always thought, get it in whenever and wherever you can. I still feel this is the case. It used to tick me off when I heard experts say that exercising in the morning maybe more beneficial. I am not a morning person and could not imagine hoping out of bed to vigorously exercise. I knew it was a calorie burned whether I exercised at 6am or 11pm, so what gives? I started doing my main workout in the morning anyway and I see why it is encouraged. I have more energy all day. I can check it off my list first thing, so no matter what the rest of the day brings me, I know I got my exercise in. Some also say you burn more calories all day long; this may or may not be true, I am not sure, but if so I will take it!!

Drink your water! I know you hear it again and again. I used to drink a lot of diet iced tea and diet soda as my main beverages. When I heard my doctor say he wanted me to try and only drink water and one unsweetened tea a day I thought I would be miserable, and I was…at first. Now I enjoy drinking my water. I definitely think I was/am one of those people who confuse the signals for hunger and thirst. Now that I have my water intake up, I am less hungry and get full faster. Even if you hate water and have to flavor it with crystal light, keep sipping those fluids.

The one thing I am on the fence about is weighing. Many sources say to only weigh in once a week instead of everyday. I see pros and cons to this theory. I know weighing daily take s mental toll on many people. I know I have stressed myself out over my daily weight shooting up after I seemingly did nothing wrong. It takes a while to get used to seeing normal fluctuations on the scale. I have gotten to the place where I can ignore it. If I gain 3 pounds overnight, I know it is not fat, it is probably water. I like to weigh myself everyday. It helps to keep me in check. If for some reason I am eating too much and the scale is having an upward trend and not just an upward day or two, I like to catch it early and adjust my eating. How do you guys feel? Do you weight everyday? Why or why not?

Being Real

I am not perfect. This is the first time in the last 2 months I have eaten something that I shouldn't have. I ate a christmas brownie. It had to have had a ton of sugar and a billion calories.

But you know what, it was yummy! What is done is done but I am not letting it slow me down. Back on track tomorrow. In the past this would have derailed me, but hey this is real life, there will be brownies every now and then.

Merry Chistmas!

Peace, love, and joy to you all!

Offical Weigh In

Down 3.5 more pounds!! My new weight is 316; I have lost 46 pounds from my highest weight and 29 pounds in the last 9.5 weeks! J

The next week is going to be the hardest week yet. I have many celebrations coming up including a Christmas Eve party, Christmas day which is full of food and New Years Eve which has always included a lot of drinking. My sister in law is already pouting about me not slinging them back with her at the party. To be honest I am a little disappointed too. I really think getting a little tipsy is a danger zone for me right now and would only lead to over eating and blood sugar issues, so I have to be strong and abstain. What I am trying to achieve is too important. If I can make it to my next weigh in on Jan 1^st without gaining, I will consider it my Christmas miracle!

Going against the Grain

I realized today that there are a couple things that a lot of diet experts tell you to do that I am not doing. I seem to have more success doing the opposite.

The first thing is eating every 2-3 hours. I am a rule follower most of the time and all the other times I have tried to lose weight I did live by this rule. This time I realized that when I ate snacks or mini meals I was eating too much and it often lead to grazing. I am not good at the mini portions. When it is time to eat, I wanted something more substantial. I can also say when I was eating mini meals in the past I did not see an increase in my metabolism, and that was the main reason I wanted to do mini-meals every few hours. I am now eating about every 5 hours…three meals a day and it seems to be working better for me.

Secondly I do not do low fat or fat free. Granted I do not use huge portions of these things but I use full fat mayo, salad dressing, milk, yogurt, ect. I also have been eating avocados, nuts and other healthy fats. I also eats eggs, with the yolks thank you! They have been keeping me full and more satisfied. Some diet gurus are so calorie focused that they recommend the low fat or fat free options. However, when I go the fat free route I am just left unfulfilled. When I eat fats I don’t feel deprived. Eating a smaller portion of full fat mayo is much more enjoyable and satisfying than a double portion of fat free.

I am in no way saying that this is the way to go for everyone. I have heard many people say that the mini-meals and low fat options have helped them. I am no expert and would never say my way is the only way. Although, I can say, this seems to be the only way to go for me.

Offical Weigh In

I pinched myself this morning to see if I was dreaming or if I really did have another successful weight loss week. Yippee, I was awake, but my arm hurts a little from all that pinching. I haven’t been on a roll like this for so long. The day to day is not easy but when I get results it is so much easier to stay motivated. I am 3 pounds down from last week. My new weight is 319.5; this means I have lost 42.5 pounds from my highest weight ever and 25.5 pounds in the last 8.5 weeks. Yes, I feel empowered.

Learning to be Selfish

I haven’t been living for myself for so long, I barely remember how. I have basically been a yes woman since I was a teenager. I never want to trouble you. I never want to make too many waves. I now have to learn how to be a little selfish. I know it sounds bad but being selfish is not always a bad thing. Not being selfish enough has been partly the reason for my weight loss failures. Instead of hurting Grandma’s feelings I smile and have the pecan pie she wants me to eat. Instead of speaking up when lunch plans are made I go to the pizza place when I know I shouldn't eat pizza. When I friend begs me to go shopping Thursday night when I know I have my workout schedule I say yes to the shopping anyway because I don’t want her to have to go alone. I'm scared to order my salad with no croutons, no bacon bits, no cheese, extra chicken, and dressing on the side because I don't want to annoy the waitress. The different scenarios could go on and on.

I am saying “No” to people now. I am saying “Yes” to myself and my goals. This is a time for me to focus on me. I have to make work outs and healthy eating my top priorities over the feelings of others in my life. Honestly it felt really bad to do it the first couple times. My friends and family seemed shocked that I stuck to my guns. I don’t want to ever go overboard and be completely self centered. I know that there are still important people in my life that I will take time out for, but I need to be wiser about it.