So, I am shopping at old navy with my sister in law for a cover up and sandals and this 3 year old little girl comes up to me and says: "You're fat" and walks away.
I was having a good day, I just found a bath suit that didn't make me want to commit suicide when I looked at myself in it and this little girl takes it all away in an instant.
It made me think about why I was so upset. The little girl was technically correct. I am fat. But, when I hear this I don't hear, you are fat, I hear: you are a fat ugly worthless piece of crap.
I need psychological help.
The little girl wouldn't have noticed if there wasn't a prejudice against overweight people. You don't see little girls going up to really underweight people and saying "you're skinny". What she was voicing was more than a statement about your weight, she was reflecting a prejudicial social judgement. That stinks.
ReplyDeleteThat was my biggest fear when I was doing my placement in kindergarten... fearful they'd be brutally honest. Kids tell it as it is... in a way though, I see it as something good... at least they aren't talking about it behind your back like an adult would.
ReplyDeleteI too just bought a bathing suit, hope to get into the pool this week.
Stay strong. I have at least 125 pounds to lose... but - I'm just aiming for 200 pounds (50 pounds to lose) and... I too feel there's no hope except surgery. But I can't afford that.
Instead I just have to try and find a way to do it on my own. It's hard but - dying is harder for me too right now and I don't want to die young because of fat.
I want a family. I want a healthy, happy life. I want to live the life I WANT to live and not live a second-class life.
I'm going to do it whatever it takes... and if you like, feel free to write me for encouragement... I'm not a cheerleader by any means but - If I can do it, anyone can (because I'm *so* undermotivated, lazy and just... lazy) ... plus, I know you can do it... I see your strength.
Be strong!
www.operation100.com
Being fat doesn't equate with being any of those other things you talked yourself into. It simply means you're overweight. You're definately not ugly, we've all seen the proof. You're not worthless, you're pricelss. You're not a piece of crap, you're a work of art.
ReplyDeleteYou should have pulled that little girls hair! LOL No but really, don't talk youself into being something that you're obviously not just because of your weight. If YOU'RE all of those horrible things because of fat then that means we're ALL those things because of being overweight. And I would hate to think that you think those things of anybody (and I know you dont!).
(I rememeber reading a chapter in a certain book about how you talk to youself effects your weight loss efforts...but I don't dare mention the book because I'm pretty sure I promised you I wouldn't pimp it out on you again. LOL I think it may rhyme with Smockter Dill though! LOL)
Chin up sweetheart, you're so much more than just an overweight woman.
Don't let the words of a three year old who has been taught prejudice deflate your self worth. Yes its shocking and yes it hurts, I've been the recipient of an "OH MY GOSH HER BUTT IS SO HUGE" and well, she was right but kids don't have that filter yet that keeps them from verbalizing everything.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, you are beautiful, never forget that.
Oh sweetie I really feel for you. I don't know what to say except that I have been there and I know how much it sucks.
ReplyDeleteYou are not ugly or worthless so please don't think that way. I am really annoyed that someone has made you feel this way.
Big hugs.
The other women have put into words exactly what I was going to say... so, I say DITTO!
ReplyDeleteYou may be carrying more andipose tissue than you actually want, but you as a person doesn't equal fat. 3 year-olds don't have sophisticated sentence structure or mental processes. She wasn't making a judgment of who you are as a person. She knew the word "fat" and tested it out by applying it so something that she saw. It is just as likely she'd walk up to an African American and say "you're brown" or walk over to someone in a cast and say "you're broken." It is equally possible that could have seen you having recently learned the word pretty, and followed you around the store saying that.
ReplyDeleteI've read your blog for a long time. You are a very inspiring person with a lot of determination. I believe that you will achieve your goals. Don't listen to 3 year olds. You = fat no more than Elmo = real.
you are not a worthless piece of crap. you are a person who is trying to make herself better. don't let the brat get to you and remember kids are annoying most of the time anyway. rub it off and use it to stomp on when you're at the gym. take that, kid (as you lift those weights!)
ReplyDeleteOh man....that girl needs to learn some manners. Apparently her parents have a lot of explaining to do.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that, that had to happen to you. I'd had a few comments (perhaps not as blunt, but still) that have made me feel the exactly the same way. Keep you chin up girl, you are worth it, you are NOT a piece of crap!
Little brat! Her parents should be teaching her better than that, I don't care what her age is. I know it's easier said than done but try to put it from your mind and remember how good you felt before. The only thing you can really do now is say to yourself 'I will strive to never be heavier than I am at this moment'.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand. I had a similiar situation happen to me with my friends kid who asked why my tummy was so much bigger then her mommys. Even though she was a little girl and probably wasnt trying to make me feel like crap it totally did. Its like a slap in the face. Dont let it get you down!
ReplyDeleteI would have been moritfied if I was that little brats mom. It's one thing for children to be honest, but it's another when they are rude. You are not any of those other things, in fact I just now looked at your pictures and think you are very beautiful. :) ~j
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