Weight Loss

The weight loss train is moving again over here...I took a break from blogging because I was just so overwhelmed with life and because I was sick and tired of not being able to report any progress. The amazing part is once I stopped putting so much pressure on myself, I started to make healthier choices and started losing weight, fast. Its been a great summer! I am the closest I have been to being under 300 in years and hope I will be under 300 by mid-later October!! :-) I have been combining a few different techniques lately. I am trying to keep it low carb (About 50 carbs a day) 1500 calories M-F and I eat whatever I want on Saturday and Sunday as long as I stay under 2000 calories. I have been exercising an hour a day 6 days a week. I was shocked that this has been working so well. It was kind of just an experiment because I found keep my carbs lower is super helpful. I think the PCOS has given me insulin resistance. But, I can't stay on a low carb diet very long. I get bored, tired, ill and frustrated. I miss so many yummy carbs. Now, I feel my life is very balanced. I can't eat a cup of ice cream today, but I will wait till Saturday. I can't have a potato today, but I can bake one on Sunday. It has helped me push through mentally and is giving me the best results I have ever had. After trying so many things I realize each person and each body is very different. This may not work for everyone but I am elated to have found something that works for me!!
Example of my low carb day:
2 eggs with Olive Oil
1 Apple
Grilled Fish or Chicken with 2 cups vegetables
22 Raw Almonds
Grilled Fish or Chicken with a large salad or a Jay Robb Protein with unsweetened Almond Milk
On the higher carb weekends I try to fulfill any cravings I have had so it changes from weekend to weekend. I do not eat any fried food or baked goods during this time. I know those foods just make me crave more and eat too much. It is important to count calories on your high carb days so you do not go over board.
So there is an update on me. How are you all doing?


My Dad Retired after over 30 years on the City of Miami Fire Department!

So proud of you Daddy! You are an amazing Fire Chief, Father, and Friend! Have a wonderful retirement Journey! (My hubby is a firefighter/paramedic too!) xoxo, Your Daughter



I am completely and totally consumed with the adoption process. Who knew how much time, energy and paperwork it would take. I truly have no time for blogging. I am eating right, exercising, and loving life. I haven't lost any weight for the last month but I haven't gained ether. I am going to have to hit pause on my blog for a little while, but don't worry...I'll be back! :-)



Someone reminded me a couple weeks ago that after I remodeled my kitchen last summer I never remembered to put up an after picture. Here is the before and after by popular demand. :-)


Forgive me Bloggers, I have sinned.

I had the very best of intentions. I have never done super well when I go on vacations. I have tried but I always gain a little weight. I was very active the whole 5 days I was away, but the eating did not go down how I would have liked it too. I ate super healthy the first day.

But it was all down hill from there. We were on the go, good food was everywhere and I had very little will power. :-/

It all started on the afternoon of Day two... they served brownies for dessert and I was hungry! I had one, and it seems from then on all I wanted was simple carbs. I know when I am not very focused on my eating things go bad. I did not drink enough water, I did not get enough fiber, I did not eat enough fruits and veggies, and I ate too many simple carbs.

The next problem was that I was so stressed out about the loss of control and weight gain on the trip that I ate badly for an extra two days. For exactly 7 days I was carb crazy. I felt like such an addict. As I was eating mac-n-cheese (An old favorite) my hubby looked at me and said "You are off the wagon huh?" I was quick to say NO! I am back on track tomorrow, but I knew I was making dumb choices and should have stopped right then and there. I am not sure how much I have gained because I have not weighed myself since Tuesday when we got home. I have been afraid. I can't stick my head in the sand any longer. I am going to weight myself tomorrow morning and report back to you. I keep praying, hoping, wishing that it is not as bad as I think. So its back to trying to get the excess sugar and carbs out and healthy fresh food in. I have my whole next week planned which is half the battle. *Sigh*


Wedded Bliss

I just got back from my good friends wedding in Orlando, it was 5 days of celebration. I had an amazing time. Pictures and recap to follow...I have a lot to catch up on!



Thank you for so many sweet comments and emails about the failed adoption. It was rough but we learned a lot in the process. We have renewed hope and continue to pursue adoption. I am certain there will be good news in the future.

In other news, some of my old pants fit! It came at just the right time too. I am was down to only one pair of pants. Now I have 3-4 I can wear. Some of them are tight, but they loosen up during the day. Pretty soon I will be able to wear a bunch of my old clothes from when I lost weight last year. I can't wait!

I went on my longest bike ride to date. We biked on Saturday for 2 hours and 5 mins. I am super sore but I love it. I wanted to quit at 1.5 hours but I figured if my 51 year old mama can do it, so can I! Thanks for the inspiration Mom! We are trying to build up to 3 hours so we can do a biking trail in the everglades that my parents did when I was a little kid and strapped to the back of her bike. We are thinking the fall will be a nice time to go.

Okay, I am so bad. I still have not set up my Body Bugg. I have had people ask how I like it, and the reason I have not responded is because I am ashamed I haven't used it yet. I am planning on doing it in the next week. (I hope.) I truly am so curious to see what it says about my calorie burn.

I will be gone until next Monday. I am leaving Thursday morning for a friends wedding in Orlando. Excited for the wedding, a little nervous about how this will affect my food choices. We will be eating out for almost every meal while we are there and I am not sure I will have much time for exercise. I am going to bring some long lasting fruit like apples and maybe some other non-perishable snacks like walnuts so I can substitute things if I have to. I will not be drinking an alcohol. I have already volunteered to be the Designated Driver. I'll let you know how it goes.


6 Week Update

6 weeks in, but for some reason it feels much longer. Probably because I thought about it for a few months before actually getting off my duff and doing it. For my 7th week I am dropping the shakes to just breakfast. I love my shakes but really want to do real food for lunch again. I have some good healthy ideas that are easy. I am focused on eating clean. My meals are all pretty simple but I like it that way and hubby hasn't complained.

I lost another 2 pounds!!! Its crazy, this is the first time my body has ever done the right thing. I keep waiting for it to stop. Balance must be the key.


I've been on diets since I was 14!

My mom and I were talking last night about all the different diets I have tried. I just thought this was an interesting diet time line.

1994: Jenny Craig
1995: Very Low Fat (Almost fat free, yikes!)
1996: Phen Fen (So glad I was only on it 3 months!!)
1997: 1000 calories a day (What was I thinking?!?! I lived on rice cakes and celery.)
1998: Ton-o-Exercise (Too bad I wasn't eating right.)
1999: Weight Watchers
2000: Vegetarian
2001: Atkins (It is hilarious to me that I went from Veggie to Atkins!)
2002: Personal Trainer (She gave me her own diet plan)
2003: Jenny Craig (This was before my wedding, I had to try one more time.)
2004: South Beach Diet (Right after my wedding. I got married in a size 24 dress.)
2005: Atkins (Just couldn't let it go, I just knew carbs were the enemy)
2006: Green Tea Diet (At least green tea has antioxidants
2007: Plan Calorie Counting (But I still wasn't always eating healthy)
2008: My Naturopath's Diet Plan
2009: My Endocrinologist's diet plan
2010: Balanced and Healthy Lifestyle. (This time, it is sticking with me forever!)

This is not even a complete list, since some years I was on more than one plan! After a decade and a half of dieting, I know that diets do not work. I lost weight on every single one of these diets. But, I never learned how to keep it off and the diets were not something I could live with forever. No more rules, no more diets! I am just focusing on nourishing my body with healthy foods whenever possible. Moving more, making sure my portions are in check. I am getting healthy! I am not on another diet.



I was almost completely derailed last week. I was completely emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. I felt myself wanting to turn to food every single day. I don't know how I did it.

On Wednesday of last week we got a phone call. A friend of a friend of a friend was pregnant and wanted to give the baby up for adoption. She is due in July. She had already had 4 children in the past and all of them had been adopted. We knew very little about the situation but we got very excited. Our dream of becoming parents seemed like it might come true and soon.

On Thursday we got the news that the adoption would cost 25,000 dollars. This was much more than we had, however we had been saving. Maybe we could get the money somehow.

On Friday we find out that the mother is a drug addict. She has taking cocaine, Oxycontin, and smoking daily. We were shocked and saddened she would do this to her baby. She said she would stop for the remaining three months of her pregnancy but what damage had been done?

We worried, prayed, talked and cried. We decided that it was worth the risk. This little baby needs a home and parents even if it was not getting the best start in life.

On Saturday we find out the birth mother has Hepatitis C. We are taken by surprise and saddened all over again. This is horrible news. We read all we can about Hepatitis C and its risks to the baby. We find chances are the baby will not be infected but could be. We wondered if we were ready to take that risk. We were scared but still felt we could do it.

On Sunday we are faxed the medical records of the mother and other personal information. She is a complete wreck with vitamin deficiencies, kidney problems and more. I find myself having panic attacks over the whole situation. My heart was broken for this sweet life growing inside of her. I wanted to save this baby if at all possible. We evaluate our budget. We check how much adding a baby to our insurance would be. We talk about me quitting my job to be a stay at home mom.

Monday we find out the birth mother not only wants living costs but wants us to pay for her to get a large amount of dental work and pay off all her traffic tickets. We find out her requests may not stop there. The adoption costs could go as high as 40,000 dollars.

We say enough is enough. This situation is not for us.

It was a whirlwind of highs and lows and I have come out of it a little depressed.

During the while process I could totally see how something like this could lead to weight gain. Maybe I am truly an emotional eater and not necessarily a food addict.


5 week update

2 more pounds gone. Feeling good physically. Emotionally I am very drained. However, I have not given in to the stress eating. More on the drama later.


Dinner with Friends

I got a call from one of my besties asking me to come over tonight. She is 5 months pregnant and having a rough time. I jumped at the opportunity to see her and hopefully cheer her up. She also said her hubby is cooking us dinner so we can have girl time. Awesome idea, but wait…what if what they are having is not something I should eat? What if it is shocked full of calories? What if it is an old time favorite and I fall off the wagon? When going to dinner at someone else’s home you have very little control over what you are served. I love to be social and don’t ever want to miss out on friend time. A lot of people have said to let your friends and family know you are on a diet so they will have something you can eat. However, first of all, I am not on a diet; I will be living this way. Secondly, I feel that if friend is kind enough to have me over for dinner I do not want to tell them what they can or can’t serve. It just feels ungrateful to me.

She said he was making steak, potatoes and salad. Not the worst line up but still potential to be calorific. Before panicking I looked at my menu for the day and tried to cut things out that would save me more calories for dinner. I saw I could cut out the hummus I eat with my raw veggies (-150 calories) and the Walnuts (-150 calories) I eat as a before dinner snack. That right there brought my dinner calorie allotment to 800 calories. More than enough to enjoy the dinner in moderation! I know it is silly but I felt so proud of myself. Before one of two things would have happened, I would have told my friend I was busy and couldn’t do it OR I would have said screw it and eating too many calories for the day. I was thrown a curve ball, and I planned around it. I mean, this is life, and there will always be the unexpected. It was rough to pass on the hummus, raw veggies with nothing on them are not too delicious but I found instead of focusing on the veggies, I just munched away with enjoying the company of my co-workers. They were my distraction from my bland snack. Passing on the Walnuts was no biggie because I knew I was going to have a bigger dinner than usual. Success!


Weight Fluctuations

*****I did not write this, and honestly I can not even remember where I read this first (it was a few years ago) but I saved it and it has helped me over and over again when the scale has not matched up to my effort or expectations. I thought it may help some of you too so I wanted to post it.*****


We’ve been told over an over again that daily weighing is unnecessary, yet many of us can’t resist peeking at that number every morning. If you just can’t bring yourself to toss the scale in the trash, you should definitely familiarize yourself with the factors that influence it’s readings. From water retention to glycogen storage and changes in lean body mass, daily weight fluctuations are normal. They are not indicators of your success or failure. Once you understand how these mechanisms work, you can free yourself from the daily battle with the bathroom scale.

Water makes up about 60% of total body mass. Normal fluctuations in the body’s water content can send scale-watchers into a tailspin if they don’t understand what’s happening. Two factors influencing water retention are water consumption and salt intake. Strange as it sounds, the less water you drink, the more of it your body retains. If you are even slightly dehydrated your body will hang onto it’s water supplies with a vengeance, possibly causing the number on the scale to inch upward. The solution is to drink plenty of water.

Excess salt (sodium) can also play a big role in water retention. A single teaspoon of salt contains over 2,000 mg of sodium. Generally, we should only eat between 1,000 and 3,000 mg of sodium a day, so it’s easy to go overboard. Sodium is a sneaky substance. You would expect it to be most highly concentrated in salty chips, nuts, and crackers. However, a food doesn’t have to taste salty to be loaded with sodium. A half cup of instant pudding actually contains nearly four times as much sodium as an ounce of salted nuts, 460 mg in the pudding versus 123 mg in the nuts. The more highly processed a food is, the more likely it is to have a high sodium content. That’s why, when it comes to eating, it’s wise to stick mainly to the basics: fruits, vegetables, lean meat, beans, and whole grains. Be sure to read the labels on canned foods, boxed mixes, and frozen dinners.

Women may also retain several pounds of water prior to menstruation. This is very common and the weight will likely disappear as quickly as it arrives. Pre-menstrual water-weight gain can be minimized by drinking plenty of water, maintaining an exercise program, and keeping high-sodium processed foods to a minimum.

Another factor that can influence the scale is glycogen. Think of glycogen as a fuel tank full of stored carbohydrate. Some glycogen is stored in the liver and some is stored the muscles themselves. This energy reserve weighs more than a pound and it’s packaged with 3-4 pounds of water when it’s stored. Your glycogen supply will shrink during the day if you fail to take in enough carbohydrates. As the glycogen supply shrinks you will experience a small imperceptible increase in appetite and your body will restore this fuel reserve along with it’s associated water. It’s normal to experience glycogen and water weight shifts of up to 2 pounds per day even with no changes in your calorie intake or activity level. These fluctuations have nothing to do with fat loss, although they can make for some unnecessarily dramatic weigh-ins if you’re prone to obsessing over the number on the scale.

Otherwise rational people also tend to forget about the actual weight of the food they eat. For this reason, it’s wise to weigh yourself first thing in the morning before you’ve had anything to eat or drink. Swallowing a bunch of food before you step on the scale is no different than putting a bunch of rocks in your pocket. The 5 pounds that you gain right after a huge dinner is not fat. It’s the actual weight of everything you’ve had to eat and drink. The added weight of the meal will be gone several hours later when you’ve finished digesting it.

Exercise physiologists tell us that in order to store one pound of fat, you need to eat 3,500 calories more than your body is able to burn. In other words, to actually store the above dinner as 5 pounds of fat, it would have to contain a whopping 17,500 calories. This is not likely, in fact it’s not humanly possible. So when the scale goes up 3 or 4 pounds overnight, rest easy, it’s likely to be water, glycogen, and the weight of your dinner. Keep in mind that the 3,500 calorie rule works in reverse also. In order to lose one pound of fat you need to burn 3,500 calories more than you take in. Generally, it’s only possible to lose 1-2 pounds of fat per week. When you follow a very low calorie diet that causes your weight to drop 10 pounds in 7 days, it’s physically impossible for all of that to be fat. What you’re really losing is water, glycogen, and muscle.

This brings us to the scale’s sneakiest attribute. It doesn’t just weigh fat. It weighs muscle, bone, water, internal organs and all. When you lose "weight," that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve lost fat. In fact, the scale has no way of telling you what you’ve lost (or gained). Losing muscle is nothing to celebrate. Muscle is a metabolically active tissue. The more muscle you have the more calories your body burns, even when you’re just sitting around. That’s one reason why a fit, active person is able to eat considerably more food than the dieter who is unwittingly destroying muscle tissue.

Robin Landis, author of "Body Fueling," compares fat and muscles to feathers and gold. One pound of fat is like a big fluffy, lumpy bunch of feathers, and one pound of muscle is small and valuable like a piece of gold. Obviously, you want to lose the dumpy, bulky feathers and keep the sleek beautiful gold. The problem with the scale is that it doesn’t differentiate between the two. It can’t tell you how much of your total body weight is lean tissue and how much is fat. There are several other measuring techniques that can accomplish this, although they vary in convenience, accuracy, and cost. Skin-fold calipers pinch and measure fat folds at various locations on the body, hydrostatic (or underwater) weighing involves exhaling all of the air from your lungs before being lowered into a tank of water, and bioelectrical impedance measures the degree to which your body fat impedes a mild electrical current.

If the thought of being pinched, dunked, or gently zapped just doesn’t appeal to you, don’t worry. The best measurement tool of all turns out to be your very own eyes. How do you look? How do you feel? How do your clothes fit? Are your rings looser? Do your muscles feel firmer? These are the true measurements of success. If you are exercising and eating right, don’t be discouraged by a small gain on the scale. Fluctuations are perfectly normal. Expect them to happen and take them in stride. It’s a matter of mind over scale.


4 weeks in and feeling good!

Down another 2 pounds this week. Although my weight loss has been slow it has been the most consistent it has ever been. I am so grateful and hope it continues.



Besides leaving for the day, there used to be two times a day I left my desk at work. I got up once to get my lunch and once to go to the bathroom. That is it. I counted the steps to the bathroom (40) and the steps to the lunchroom/kitchen (60). That means during my work day I only took about 100 steps. It was shocking to see how sedentary I truly was. Whenever I try to live healthier I end up drinking more water, which means more bathroom breaks and having to make frequent trips to the kitchen since I am eating a few times a day and am always refilling my water bottle. This week I have kept track of how often I get up. I am going to the bathroom every hour and to the kitchen every couple hours. Without even thinking about it I increased my daily office steps to between 600 and 800 steps! I know that is still not a lot. We are supposed to be getting around 10,000 steps a day. I do not have a pedometer but I am certain I do not come near that amount. That is why exercise is so important to me; I barely get any while working. However small, an increase in movement is great and it made me smile.

An unexpected side benefit is I am getting to know my co-workers better and some of them are pretty awesome. People used to say I stayed in my cave (office) and was rarely seen. (It was a running joke.) Now I am coming in contact with all sorts of people as I run around the office. I have been with my company 7 years yet some people didn’t even know I existed because I was not social at all. (I am a very social person but at work I totally had tunnel vision.) I am not only getting healthy but making new office friends too. Nice!


I finally tried the Shirataki Noodles...

I have been hearing about the Shiratake noodles for years. I was very skeptical about them and never got around to trying them. I was wandering around Whole Foods where I like to get my produce and I saw them in the dairy section. They were $1.99 a package and they had two varieties fettuccine shaped and spaghetti shaped. I bought them both and thought I would give them a whirl. With only 40 calories in an entire package I couldn't pass it up. How bad can they be?

I read some review on these and honestly it got me kinda nervous. People seemed to think they were the best things on earth or completely disgusting. I saw very few people who had had a middle of the road experience with them.

I followed the directions on the package and had them with my hubby and parents with my mom's spaghetti sauce. These were the reactions:

Dad: "These are really weird!" "You have to put a lot of sauce on them." "I guess I would eat them again."

Mom: "These are okay." "I love that they are low in calories." "I would eat them sometimes."

Hubby: "These are disgusting." "I hate the funky texture." "I am not up for these again."

My thoughts: The texture is different. They are more chewy than regular pasta. They do not taste like anything. They smell weird at first but once you boil them they smell neutral. I was not really a fan of the fettuccine but I actually did like the spaghetti version. Since the noodles were thinner you did not notice the texture as much. I would eat them again if I was really craving pasta. Its great that it is so low in calories and they have some fiber in them.

Have any of you tried them? What are your thoughts?


I really need to shrink back into my old pants. See, I have lots and lots of clothes. I have them in many sizes. In fact until I weigh less than 250 I likely will not need to buy a thing. It makes my husband crazy. I take up TWO closets in my house. I have never given up hope that I will lose the weight so I can never get rid of the smaller clothes. Unfortunately, last time I lost weight I did get rid of some of my clothes. I believed if I did I wouldn’t gain it back. But, I did. So when my pants started getting too tight I had to buy some more. I refused to buy more than 2 pair of pants. I wouldn’t stay this heavy long but I had to wear something! (I still had shirts that fit.) So, I bought two pair, I think that was about 5-6 months ago. However because I only had two pair and my legs rub together they are wearing out quickly. I will NOT buy anymore in this size. I know if I lose 10 more pounds I can fit into alot of my old pants. Luckily my pants feel looser even though I have only lost 9 pounds. I think part has to do with weight and part as to do with bloat. One of my pants is seriously on its last leg, any minute now I know there will be a hole where my legs rub together and then I will be down to one! I can’t wear the same pants everyday!! I already hate alternating. I must be out of these pants asap! (And into new one’s of course.)


3 weeks in and a million more to go...

It's week three weight-in day...I lost two more pounds!!! :-)


BBQ Turkey Wrap

I just had the yummiest simple dinner and I thought I would share. It is what I am calling a BBQ Turkey Wrap.

I took one large Low carb wrap. (Mine was 140 calories but it had 5 grams of fiber and 9 grams protein.)I spread 2 tablespoons of BBQ sauce on it. I added 2 oz of boars head all natural turkey, red onion, tomato, spinach and a little mozzarella cheese. I put it in the oven at 350 for about 10 mins and wrapped it up. Yummo!


How rude!

Eating out while I am in weight loss mode is pretty stressful for me. If we go somewhere that I can look up the calorie content online ahead of time then I don’t worry about it, I know I will make a good choice. It is when we go to those fun local restaurants that don’t have the nutritional information. I know that restaurant meals have lots of hidden calories. I have often tried to estimate calories but have been very wrong because I never imagined how much butter they actually used or that they added sugar to something. Anyway, on Tuesday night I went out to dinner with a friend. It was the first meal out I have eaten in the last few weeks. She picked the restaurant. Technically there should be something I can eat at every restaurant even though it may sometimes only be a salad with a lighter dressing on the side. When I got there I looked at the menu and there were many things that were almost healthy, and will a few changes I knew I could have a great meal. When the waitress came to the table she asked for our order. I smiled and said, I know I am about to be a big pain, sorry! I want to order the grilled chicken sandwich with a few changes please. She immediately rolled her eyes. I was not expecting that. I have gotten annoyed reactions in the past but usually if I preface it with an apology they are a little more gracious. This was exactly the reaction that made me nervous to custom order my food. As I read of to her what I wanted I also got a heavy sigh with the eye roll. Nice!

I ordered the grilled chicken sandwich with a wheat roll instead of white, no mayo, no bacon, no cheese, with honey mustard on the side, steamed broccoli instead of fries, and a side of salsa.

I realize that was a lot of changes but they were all offered on the menu. Do thin people who special order get eye rolls too? Has this ever happened to you? Do you get dining out anxiety?


Go Nuts! (but not too nuts!)

This week I have been feeling really hungry in the afternoon. Even though I live on the east coast, I am an account manager at my company for clients on the west coast. I typically go to work at 10am and get off around 7pm EST. The great new is I miss traffic both ways and have extra time to exercise in the morning. The bad news if I get home so late which means I eat dinner sooooooo late. Many nights when I was not doing so well I would be so hungry by the time I got home I would screw cooking dinner and just eat whatever I could find and fast! Since I was over-hungry I often over-ate. I started to feel that way this week. I never gave in and went wild but I wanted to and I knew if I didn’t change something, I would at some point. I can only be so strong people! J After looking at my eating schedule I decided to add some nuts at the end of the day to get me through. I was a little nervous about this because it is so easy to eat too many nuts. I decided to add Walnuts. They are so dense in calories but a little go along way. I also was excited about adding some extra omega 3’s, minerals, and fiber to my diet. I typically was eating like this:

8am: Breakfast

11am: Snack

1pm: Lunch

4pm: Snack

8pm: Dinner

But now I am doing this:

8am: Breakfast

11am: Snack

1pm: Lunch

4pm: Snack

6pm: 8-12 Walnuts Halves

8pm: Dinner

Guess what? It totally worked. It’s not a lot of nuts but it totally satisfied me until I get home. I am no longer ravenous and have no trouble waiting for my food to cook. Who knew such a little nut could make such a huge difference? I likely will switch it up some weeks and have almonds or pecans. (Raw of course!) As long as I count them out inside of munching them from the bag I feel confident I will not eat too many. Remember that since nuts have a high fat content (Good Fats!) to store them in the fridge to make sure they do not go rancid. I didn’t know about this until recently so I thought I would share.


2 weeks in the bag!

I just keep sighing with relief. It feels so nice to be back in control. It's funny to me that I crave this control and structure yet I allow myself to spiral into my old habits so often. I don't just feel healthier physically, my head is clear and I am ready to take on the world!

I am doing 30 mins of exercise daily and sometimes I am getting some bonus exercise in when I lift weights while watching TV. It's all baby steps. It's tough during the week as I spend so many of my waking hours in my office working. That is not something I can change but I am working to make my weekends as active as possible. So above and beyond doing deliberate exercise but I am trying to just get out of the house and keep moving.

This week I lost 2 pounds.



Body Bugg

My mom just bought me a Body Bugg. I have seen them used on the Biggest Loser but I don't know much about them yet. It is exciting though! I am hoping I can get some information about how many calories I am really burning. I have a feeling the results may be disappointing. My metabolism is slow, I know it is. When I try those general calorie burn calculators online they say I should be burning over 3000 calories a day. However when I cut my calories to 2000, I still don't lose weight. I have to go at least to 1800, and sometimes all the way to 1600 if I am not getting much exercise. It has always been very frustrating. I will be trying it out soon and reporting back to you. Has anyone else out there tried it? Any tips or advice?


Is this to "heavy" for this blog?

I debated whether or not to blog about this at all. It is very personal and I haven't discussed it with many people in my life. However I figured I should be as authentic as possible so why not? Besides, this blog is anonymous and wasn't the point of that so I can be honest?

I don't know if my hubby has been watching too much Dr. Phil or what but he brought something up this week that I had never thought about before. We were looking at some old photo albums and he noticed I starting gaining a lot of weight in 1995. I was always little chubby but I didn't start packing it on until then. Then he asked, isn't that the year you were raped?

When I was 14 I was raped. I have never really correlated it with my weight gain before. I am still not sure it has anything to do with it. However, my hubby wants me to go to counseling. He says he has seen me use food as a coping mechanism and thinks it may have started with the rape. I truly feel like I have moved past it and rarely think about it anymore. I guess there is a possibility that subconsciously it affects me. I can't see any harm in talking to someone about it. So I made an appointment to with a psychologist. Maybe she can help me with my emotional eating, even if it has nothing to do with being raped.

I have noticed that I can be on a roll, eating well, exercising, feeling great, but then something will happen in my life that I have trouble handling and I completely fall off the wagon. This of course is not the only reason for my weight gain but it has been a large contributor. I just feel if I never get to the bottom of it, my weight loss will never be permanent.


Weekend Success!

I am so excited to be reporting on my first full successful week in a long time. The weekend was not easy but I stuck to my guns. Now I just have to repeat this about 104 times or more. :-)

Drumroll please>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I lost 5 pounds!

It felt so good to work hard all week and actually see it on the scale. As my long time readers know, this is not always the case. Typically, my body resists weight loss at all costs. I don't know if all the stars aligned or what!??!?

Replacing two meals a day with shakes was boring but it helped me make the right choices for the week. I think it may have kept my blood sugar stable and my cravings were less. My mind would still want to eat tasty things but honestly my body was completely satisfied. Although I only committed to the shakes for one week, I am now thinking if it ain't broke, don't fix it! So until it stops working or I just can't stand to drink another shake I will continue.

I am breathing a sigh of relief. I finally, after flubbing up the first 7 weeks of 2010, am on the right road.


Give me a shake!

So far this has been a successful week. However until I can get through the weekend I am not going to be jumping up and down. I changed things up this week to try and get in a good routine. Instead of breakfast and lunch I have been having protein shakes. I committed to this for only a week because I have gone the shake route in the past and it gets very boring pretty fast but for some reason it does always jump start my weight loss. I alternate between Shaklee Cinch Shake and Jay Robb Whey Protein. Both are very palatable as far as shakes are concerned. I only enjoy the chocolate flavor. They are both very natural, have no artificial sweeteners and use the best ingredients. I think after my week is over I may only drink a shake for breakfast. Considering I really love to sleep in, it has kept me on track. I used to eat veggie omelets for breakfast a lot but don’t always have the time to cook them in the morning. Besides a protein shake or an omelet I can not think of a lot of great breakfast choices. Most of them are too carby. This has been my daily plan this week:

Breakfast: Shake
AM Snack: Fruit
Lunch: Shake
PM Snack: Raw Veggies and Hummus
M: Veggie Stir Fry and 1 cup Brown Rice
Tu: Veggie Soup and Salad
W: Low Carb Veggie Quesadilla
Th: Veggie Omelet
F: Three Bean Chili and Salad

Because I was getting ample protein in my two shakes I kept my dinners vegetarian. My favorite of week was the low carb veggie quesadilla. So good and easy! I bought low carb wraps, sautéed some of my favorite veggies and grilled it in my quesadilla maker with a little cheddar cheese. Topped with avocado and fresh salsa, I think this will make it into the weekly rotation!


Two Steps Forward, One Step Back.

Sorry its been weeks since an update. I need to get back in the groove of writing. When I first thought about what has happened in the last 3 weeks my first response was: nothing. However that is not true. I have formed positive new habits. I am up to 25 minutes of exercise a day. On Saturdays I have been doing hour long bike rides. The weather has been so lovely that being outside has been so uplifting. I am back to cooking 75% of all my meals. I feel so much better. Having a plan has been so nice too. I am not stressing out at 5pm wondering what I am going to do about dinner. So why haven't I lost any weight?

Its amazing how I can be perfect M-F but mess up every single weekend. I could sit here and list you all the reasons weekends are so hard. Tell you about all the parties I have had and all the food related events I could not say no to. But the truth is they are all excuses. I could have dominated the weekends if I had more self control. I am filled with regret as I face the last week of the month and realize I wasted more time. However I woke up this morning even more determined than ever. If I can just get through one weekend!!! By next Monday I hope to be reporting my first loss. No, I WILL be reporting my first loss.


First Day

Day one has been difficult. The first week is the hardest. You have to establish a new routine, change your priorities, but most of all change your mind. There is so much planning involved in too. I have not planned all my meals and snacks in a while. I also have not carved out time for daily exercise in months.

My thoughts today have oscillated from being excited to be on the right track to being very mad at myself for letting go of all the progress I had made before. I have not been less than 300 pounds since 2003. I have spent the last few years trying. I have gotten close a couple times. My lowest weight was about 305 about a year ago. Many have said a goal of losing 60 pounds in 11 months is easily achieved. However, as “easy” as it is, I have never been able to do it! My body sheds weight so slowly. I have never been able to stick to anything more than about 4 months. I know that the lack of results has definitely been partly why I can not keep the motivation going. I can not do anything half way and lose weight. I have to be all in, all the time.

I already feel like crap. It is amazing what only one day without sugar and caffeine can do to me. It so hard to feel motivated to workout when you feel like you have no energy and you have a throbbing headache! I want to heed the advice not to do too much to fast. I do not want to be derailed because I bit off more than I can chew. I am going to work up to my full routine. However this week I commit to working out 15 minutes a day and eating right. Next week I will bump it up to 20 mins. Before you know it I will be back into the swing of things. I will not post my meals everyday but I will sometimes just to show what I am eating.

Breakfast: 2 Egg Omelet with provolone, onions and peppers and a banana
Snack: 2 Clementines
Lunch: Tuna on Salad
Snack: Carrots
Dinner: Baked Chicken & Sautéed Broccoli

Since I am also trying to fight PCOS and as well lose weight. I am on a supplement regime as well which includes:
Multi Vitamin
Fish Oil
Natural Progesterone Cream

Okay, I am off to do my 15 mins and then go to bed before I can put anything else in my mouth. :-)


I may not have any readers left. I failed AGAIN. How many times can you fail in one blog? I have not updated in months because nothing I had to say would have helped anyone. My life blew up in my face. I fell into old habits and I gained all the weight I worked so hard to lose. This has to be about the 3rd or 4th time this has happened. I am embarrassed. I am tired of it. I can’t live my life like this anymore. As I contemplated what I should do, so many options swirled in my head. I didn’t want to talk about it until I was sure what I wanted to do. Now, I am completely sure. This will be my last attempt at natural weight loss. I will give it all I have for another year of my life. I am turning 30 in August. My life is flying by faster than I thought possible. I have spent most of this life fat. Although I have not been completely unhappy and have had my share of joys in life, I have always been held back. And I do mean ALWAYS. When I think about getting to the end of my life and thinking about how I lived up to only 1/3 of my potential because I never got my weight under control, it makes me sick. What a waste. Life is such a precious gift. I will not waste it.

If I can not lose at least 60 pounds this year getting me under 300, I will have gastric bypass surgery next year. I have thought about surgery off and on through the years and ultimately always decided against it. I am not a big fan of medical intervention unless it is the last resort and prefer to do things naturally. I would hear about the vitamin absorption issues and health problems and didn’t want to take the risks. However, I am at such a high risk for so many diseases at my current weight, and I am not able to live life to the fullest. If I have the surgery and I have some issues, can it really be worse that where I am today? I am not so sure anymore.

My plan, starting Monday 2/1/10 is this:
1800-1600 calories a day of fruits, veggies, lean protein, and whole grain carbohydrates. I will limit my carbohydrates and not eat any past lunch. I will make the bulk of my diet fruits and veggies. I will focus on getting the most nutrition out of every calorie. I will not eat any fake foods. I will not eat pre packaged foods. I will not eat highly processed foods. I will nourish my body. I will cut out all soda. (even diet) I will drink only water and tea.

In past weight loss attempts have made it very clear that my metabolism is slower than it should be. I must build as much muscle as I can. I must make exercise a very important part of my plan. Without it, I will never increase my metabolic rate. If I do not increase my metabolism, I will not meet my goals and will never be able to maintain a healthier weight. For Christmas my husband got P90X. He asked for it and is excited to use it. My husband is in WAY better shape than I am. He has worked out 3-5 days a week the entire time I have known him. (over 7 years) He is still about 50 pounds overweight, but he is strong and very fit for his weight. I know I may have to work up to doing the full DVD’s but I am going to try them. The people we know that have truly stuck with them have lost a lot of weight. I am going to be doing one P90X dvd every morning M-F(30-60mins). I will be doing bike rides (30mins) in the evening M-F. I will be using the elliptical machine (30-60mins) on Sat & Sun. I have done a schedule similar to this in the past. The first few weeks are hard. I will have to work up to the higher times, however after a month I felt amazing when I was this active. I believe it must be done, and I will be better for it.

This is it. I have little less than a year to change my life. I cannot fail.