I may not have any readers left. I failed AGAIN. How many times can you fail in one blog? I have not updated in months because nothing I had to say would have helped anyone. My life blew up in my face. I fell into old habits and I gained all the weight I worked so hard to lose. This has to be about the 3rd or 4th time this has happened. I am embarrassed. I am tired of it. I can’t live my life like this anymore. As I contemplated what I should do, so many options swirled in my head. I didn’t want to talk about it until I was sure what I wanted to do. Now, I am completely sure. This will be my last attempt at natural weight loss. I will give it all I have for another year of my life. I am turning 30 in August. My life is flying by faster than I thought possible. I have spent most of this life fat. Although I have not been completely unhappy and have had my share of joys in life, I have always been held back. And I do mean ALWAYS. When I think about getting to the end of my life and thinking about how I lived up to only 1/3 of my potential because I never got my weight under control, it makes me sick. What a waste. Life is such a precious gift. I will not waste it.

If I can not lose at least 60 pounds this year getting me under 300, I will have gastric bypass surgery next year. I have thought about surgery off and on through the years and ultimately always decided against it. I am not a big fan of medical intervention unless it is the last resort and prefer to do things naturally. I would hear about the vitamin absorption issues and health problems and didn’t want to take the risks. However, I am at such a high risk for so many diseases at my current weight, and I am not able to live life to the fullest. If I have the surgery and I have some issues, can it really be worse that where I am today? I am not so sure anymore.

My plan, starting Monday 2/1/10 is this:
1800-1600 calories a day of fruits, veggies, lean protein, and whole grain carbohydrates. I will limit my carbohydrates and not eat any past lunch. I will make the bulk of my diet fruits and veggies. I will focus on getting the most nutrition out of every calorie. I will not eat any fake foods. I will not eat pre packaged foods. I will not eat highly processed foods. I will nourish my body. I will cut out all soda. (even diet) I will drink only water and tea.

In past weight loss attempts have made it very clear that my metabolism is slower than it should be. I must build as much muscle as I can. I must make exercise a very important part of my plan. Without it, I will never increase my metabolic rate. If I do not increase my metabolism, I will not meet my goals and will never be able to maintain a healthier weight. For Christmas my husband got P90X. He asked for it and is excited to use it. My husband is in WAY better shape than I am. He has worked out 3-5 days a week the entire time I have known him. (over 7 years) He is still about 50 pounds overweight, but he is strong and very fit for his weight. I know I may have to work up to doing the full DVD’s but I am going to try them. The people we know that have truly stuck with them have lost a lot of weight. I am going to be doing one P90X dvd every morning M-F(30-60mins). I will be doing bike rides (30mins) in the evening M-F. I will be using the elliptical machine (30-60mins) on Sat & Sun. I have done a schedule similar to this in the past. The first few weeks are hard. I will have to work up to the higher times, however after a month I felt amazing when I was this active. I believe it must be done, and I will be better for it.

This is it. I have little less than a year to change my life. I cannot fail.