11/2/07

Biggest Loser: A New Ending.

Well in the last two week I have had: a twisted ankle, my brother joined the army, my work load doubled as I took on 30 new accounts, my good friend was rejected from the school of her dreams, my other good friend got pregnant unexpectedly much to her shock and dismay, I caught a raging cold complete with cough , had many home improvement issues and pains, I have been having panic attacks and much much more. Lets just say life has not been boring around here. Half the time I felt I was in a poorly written drama. Thank God I have an amazing support system or I would have lost my mind.

Aside from all that lets talk about the most interesting thing that happened on my vacation. While we away we had a great time with friends that I definitely don't get to see enough. We spent a few days in Connecticut which was gorgeous, and then a couple days at our friends home in NYC before heading back to Florida. We got to enjoy the weather, nature, a wine tasting, dinner on the roof, s'mores, being tourists, great conversation, and more.

The last night we were in NYC we spent the night in. We ordered fabulous Greek take out and settled for a night of hanging out. Because we are all Biggest Loser fans, we decided to watch while we ate. about half way through the show hubby's phone rang, it was in the back bedroom so we ignored it. Then my phone started to ring a few moments later. I let it go to voice mail. During a commercial break I went over to see who called. My heart skipped a beat as I saw it was a 310 area code which is for Los Angeles. I pressed the voicemail button and held my breath. The message said " Hi, this is Lucy from Biggest Loser, I have a question to ask you can you call me back as soon as possible." I walked into the living room and said in a dazed shocked tone "The biggest loser just called us." (While we were watching the biggest loser, HOW FREAKING IRONIC?!?!?) My friends in a flurry on comments told us to call them back right away. Hubby and I went into the back bedroom and I dialed the number as I began to shake. Lucy said one of the finalist had fallen through and they wanted us to come out to LA ASAP. I didn't know what to say. I knew deep down inside we couldn't go but I could not bring my self to say no. I told her we were in NYC visiting friends at the moment but we were leaving in the morning. I asked if I could call her back in a couple hours. She gave me her personal cell number and asked me to try and call as soon as we can. We went back out to the living room to tell our friends what was going on. The reaction they gave was not what I thought. They all thought Hubby should just quit his job and we should just go for it, after all it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. WOW. I had never felt so conflicted in my life. I felt like I was going to throw up. Hubby work so hard to get his job. It was what he always wanted. He was hired out of 400 people who applied. It is one of the few jobs left that gives a pension, and as a public servant, you don't make a ton of money so the pension is so valuable. Also we had been told by HR that if you leave the Department you can not ever be re-hired, even if you left on good terms, it was just the rules. My friends were trying to help but their words wounded me. They said I was way too cautious. That I wouldn't get anything out of life unless I took risks. That Hubby and I could just move to a different city after the show and get new jobs. It was all to much for me. I had just come to terms with the fact we were not going to be on the show and now I had the opportunity but I couldn't do it. Everything was happening so fast. We thought about calling hubby's chief at home and begging. But they had already said no, Three times! I retreated to the roof for a good cry and a call to my mom. She was pained but this as much as I was. She knew how much I had wanted this and how painful it was the first time I had to mourn the loss. Doing it twice was a cruel joke. My friend came up to comfort me. She said she was sorry if they had kind of ganged up on me. They just wanted me to have the experience so badly. Then my husband came up to talk to me. He said he would totally quit his job if that's what I wanted. (But I knew it was not what he wanted.) We talked a little while and I knew what I had to do. I called Lucy and told her everything. That we wanted to go more than anything but Shawn's work never gave him the full go ahead. I told her we still could head out to LA if she wanted while we negotiated with his employer from there but there was no guarantee. She was great about it, even sad for us. I tried to throw in that we should be the "special surprise contestants" who compete from home. She laughed and said she would have to pass and go to the next person on the list. So I guess that is the new ending for our biggest loser story. I thought I should share it.