Happy 4th Anniversary

The last month has been so busy and I have neglected my poor blog friends. Hubby and I went on our anniversary trip last week. I will be writing a three part series on: A fat girls guide to some of Orlando. In the meantime, here are some pictures from the highlight of our trip, our dolphin swim at Discovery Cove.

Happy Birthday to me!

Yesterday was my birthday and I stepped on the scale...it read 338.5. Ya!!...now I am charging through to 299! Lets hope I can make it by the end of the year. *Sigh*

Every thing is closed...

So, we are down here in Florida dodging hurricanes and tropical storms. We were missed but the weather has been horrific which led to everything in the world to close including my job. Traffic conditions were deemed unsafe. I deem staying home alone on a stormy day unsafe for diets. This leading to mindless eating and a load of guilt. Oh well, I cut myself off for the day but not before I squeezed in a couple of cookies and some Doritos. My mom got them as hurricane supplies. Damn Fay!

Good news is this is not the norm for me and I am feeling very good about hitting my revised birthday goal in a couple days. Go me!

The Cookie Diet

Its spreading like a rash in many of my social circles and I just don't get it. I mean the cookie diet?!?!? Come on!

You eat 4-6 cookies a day and then a sensible dinner, there is no magic here, it is PORTION CONTROL.

People are acting like these are super natural cookies that have come to save the day. I'm not buying it!

And although some of my friends have a lost a little weight, ALL of them are so sick of cookies! Um yeah, I would rather just track my calories and have variety any day.

Time is flying...

Everyday is busy busy busy and and I can't believe how long its been since I last posted. It feels like yesterday. Luckily my binge was only a day long. I felt so horrible I am hoping it is a reminder not to run to food when I am stressed.

My little brother (he's 25) is a drug addict and has been causing some family drama lately. It makes me sad and angry. It definitely has the opportunity to derail my efforts but I prevailed this time. I know understand why my mom (who is thin) gained 20 pounds last time he overdosed. But, that my friends is another story.

Since we last spoke I have lost another pound. It seems 1 pound every 2 weeks is what my body is about these days. I can't imagine eating less or exercising any more without feeling completely punished. So I will keep doing what I am doing.

I only have a little under a month before I turn 28. I really wanted to be under 300 pounds. Since that is impossible I have to revise the goal. Under 340 by my birthday would be great, not as good, but I'll take it! Talk to you soon.

When will I learn!?!?!

Comfort eating never actually comforts! Instead of just being depressed and stressed I am: depressed, stressed and FAT! When will I learn!?!?!?

I'm still here...

Barely though. The last couple weeks have flown by in a flash and I won't bore you with the details but they have been less than pleasant. In fact right now I am supposed to be in the Key's with my family celebrating my little sister's 13th birthday but circumstances intervened. Grrrr!

Since we last spoke I have again lost one more pound. One. That's it.

I know, what you all want to say..."At least you are going down and not up" "A pound is a pound" ect. ect. ect.

I try to say it to myself but its truly very hard. I am not giving up no matter what but these are the thoughts that plague me:
If it is taking me up to two weeks to lose 1 pound now, when I am working my butt off and eating like a champion, while I am 5'7'' and still over 300 pounds, while I am very focused and have not faltered...what kind of hell is ahead of me???

Typically weight loss is supposed to be faster at first, then as you lose you have to get more strict and more serious to lose BUT I am giving it my all now. *Sigh*

Someone said to me recently, why does it matter how long it takes you as long as you are losing?

That's easy to say but when you can't even see results on a scale every week it is super hard to stay positive. Also, at this rate I it will take me about 4 years to get down to the weight I need to be for them to even THINK helping me get pregnant. I will still be about 50 pounds overweight at that point.

I want to keep believing that my body is going to kick into gear if I keep pushing on through.

Ethan David is Here!

Sorry I have been out of the loop, I have not fallen off the wagon!! In fact I have S-L-O-W-L-Y lost one more pound.

However my best friend just had her baby and I spent the last 8 days up north with her and her new beautiful boy Ethan David. I have to say I am in love. I will update more later this weekend...I am exhausted!

Little by little

Well, I have lost 1.5 more pounds in the last 11 days. Its something. Its very slow but I am encouraged by anything at this point.

I have noticed something great has happened. I am and always have been a pretty healthy eater. I know what you may be thinking "No way in hell a 300+ pound woman is a healthy eater!" But newsflash: Its true! I love healthy food. My main meals every day consist of fruits, veggies, lean meat, beans, and grains. My real problem was sugar. I craved it and usually gave into the cravings at night time. I wanted chocolate, cookies, ice cream....ect.

Since I have started the Low GI diet my cravings have gone away. I mean completely. I have been watching people eat donuts & cake all week without the urge to eat them at all. Its amazing.

I've lost some weight, but I am not happy.

I've lost 6 pounds in the last 3 weeks but I am not too happy about it. I lost it all in the first 3 days of my new medications and low GI/ low calorie diet so I know it wasn't all fat, it was water weight. Why have I been so good for 3 weeks and for the last two weeks lost nothing? I am not giving up, I am giving it a 3 month go before I decide it isn't working, but if I don't lose some more weight soon I am really going to have trouble staying positive. I don't even know how it is humanly possible for a 300+ pound woman to eat 1600-1800 calories a day of healthy food and do the elliptical machine everyday and not lose an ounce for 2 full weeks. Ugh! I will keep you posted.