Living outside the realm of reality.

I truly feel I must have reverse body dysmorphic disorder. Most of the time when I look in the mirror I feel pretty good about myself. I may not be thin but I never think I look huge ether. I can look in the mirror and feel good about leaving the house. In fact there are days I forget I am fat. I know its sounds ridiculous but if I have done my hair, have a great outfit on and feel pretty I forget completely that I am as big as a baby hippo. I'll be out with my girls friends feeling pretty and confident and then I barely fit into the booth at dinner, or barely fit into the chair in the movie theater and that's when it hits me. I am not normal. Those people weren't staring at my because I was pretty, it is because I am large. The other time it hits me like ton of bricks is when I see pictures. Pictures do not lie. It is quite painful to think you looked amazing all evening, then to see a picture and realize you are twice the size of any of your friends. You are stuffed into ugly plus size clothing. You are not cute. These days I try to keep from taking too many body shots. I will hide behind a friend, or my hubby, or a piece of furniture. Or of course I resort to the floating head picture. If people hundreds of years from now people had study my life from pictures along they may think I had no body at all.