The weekend of horror...

Okay, well it wasn't really a weekend of horror but it felt like it. My Mom's birthday was on Sunday and she wanted to go celebrate with the family on Saturday because my dad and husband were working on Sunday. (My dad and my husband are firefighters, so they work 24 hours, then are off 48 hours, pretty sweet gig.) I had eaten so perfectly well all day and gone to the gym in the morning like all good big girls should. I went to the restaurant fully intending to order a grilled chicken breast and steamed veggies, but while I was there something took over me. I know what that something was: hunger! See, I went through the day trying to be as good as possible so I could save enough calories a delicious yet healthy dinner out with my family. When I got there the smells overwhelmed me and I just caved. I ordered the most delicious thing on the menu, Steak Marsala with Garlic Herb Mashed Potato's and Broccoli. I was going to eat just half, but I ate the whole thing. I felt horrible both physically and emotionally. I look up the calorie info online and saw I had consumed about 1000 calories!! I only 600 to spend! Sigh. Then on Sunday I was feeling so puffy and fat, so what did I do? The worst thing I could have done. I decided I should be punished that day and eat only 1000 calories to balance out the day before. By the end of the day I was so hungry I didn't the exact opposite of what I should have done...I binged on anything I could find. Stupid me. I don't know why I have too be such an all or nothing person. I suppose that is part of what got me into this weighty mess to begin with. I have learned. No more not eating to "save up" calories and no more punishments. I just need to make the healthiest choices I can every day and do the best I can. Okay, I confessed. I feel better.